The First Week: Week 1

Life at the hospital was pretty awesome. It felt like a vacation-no meals or chores to do, nurses attending to our every need... how could you beat that? Plus, I basically stayed in bed all day. Not what I was expecting... but I was way more sore than I anticipated! So staying in bed was a welcome luxury.

Also unexpected-I didn't sleep at all that next day. You would think being up the last couple nights and going through the physical exertion would render me tired and hungry, but on the contrary! Just being around our new little girl seemed to sustain us on its own.
Probably that and a whole lot of adrenaline.

Tri-force Baby

Yoda

We couldn't get enough of her!

We were able to have a number of visitors. Kind of fun that my family came in town the same day she was born, and we had many supportive friends drop by. Shelly and Jershon even went so far as to grab some dinner for Chris.

When we had first heard that this hospital typically brings the baby into the nursery when the mom is in the postpartum room we weren't huge fans. We wanted that baby to be with us as much as possible. But then after one night of being up almost constantly with her... we decided to try the nursery. It was SO NICE! They would bring her back when she was hungry, but other than that, we were able to get some quality sleep, which was much appreciated.

We call this her Grandpa picture. Doesn't she look like a little old grandpa?!

Leaving the hospital!

These few days in the hospital were fun to experience with Chris. It felt very much like a partnership as we figured out this parenting thing together for the first few days. It was particularly satisfying to see him as the proud, cute dad I knew he would be :)

When we went home, it was the beginning of the Twilight Zone-it felt like one long wonderful and exhausting day. We were so grateful for all the help we had from each of our wards with meals!

Something ...fun?...we found out that first week was that she was on a schedule. Her own schedule. A schedule which dictated that at precisely 8pm every night, her eyes would pop open from her restful diurnal slumber to begin her all nighter.  She went from this:

To this:

In a matter of seconds.

I was amazed at how physically worn out I was. We went on an walk around the laundry facility, and by the time I dragged my body up the three flights of stairs, I was DONE. Even standing and doing dishes for any length of time wore me out. Just standing! It was crazy to feel that weak. And then there were the emotions! First of all, I had just been accustomed to being pregnant and all the wacky hormones that come along with it, so I was no stranger to feeing emotional. But throwing a little baby's dependency in the mix with everything else made the emotions so close to the surface. I could feel them bubbling with the tiniest cry from Riley or any frustrating situation.
I'm sure sleep deprivation didn't help. That first week, she was up almost consistently, and she always seemed hungry. It was exhausting. People kept saying that she is a newborn, and so of course she was up all the time, but I am talking all. the. time. The longest stretch she slept was 45 minutes, and I felt like something wasn't right. We went to a lactation consultant. They were saying her latch was great and everything looked good, but then when they would weigh her, they were always surprised at how little milk she was getting. Finally, at the end of the appointment they discovered she had a tongue-tie. A tongue tie is when the tissue connecting the tongue to the base of the mouth (frenulum) limits the movement of the tongue. She had been unable to get enough milk when she ate. Thankfully, Rachel helped us out with milk for Riley, and she did much better! She slept longer and was less cranky when she was awake. It came just in time-I wasn't sure I could keep up that regimen.

Its amazing how long we can sit and admire her. She is so perfect. And we have gotten very little done. However, we have been experts at picture taking #becarefulaskingforpictures

We decided to get a glider chair, and it has been a lifesaver to get her to sleep!

Perfect song for a perfect baby :)

First time outside

Can you tell she wasn't happy about us trying to keep her awake?

Firsts:

First Car Ride

On the way home from the hospital

First Time in her Bassinet

First Walk in the Stroller

First Cousin Hangout

This was the day we got home from the hospital. Riley was 2 days old.

First Walmart Visit

First Glamour Shot

First time falling asleep while praying

First blowout

Check out that smirk of mischief!

She wasn't so excited about the consequential bath...

Riley's Birth Story

"I never said it would be easy..."

Friday morning around 3am I recognized that I was feeling some pretty good contractions. They were irregular and infrequent, so I tried to curb my hopeful excitement so I could relax and go back to sleep. But despite my efforts to keep it out of my mind, I found myself sabotaging my sleep by planning what I would do if I went into labor before going to work at LDS FS. For some reason the idea of having an opportunity to shirk responsibility and having a legit excuse brought out the adrenaline from my wild rebellious side that I was loathe to quench. How often in your life is there an exciting unpredictable event that is good enough to get you out of ANYTHING and no one can argue otherwise?

But, no labor. So I reluctantly held my rebellious side at bay as I dutifully walked to work.

At LDS FS, I felt absolutely nothing. I quietly resigned to the fact that this was probably not the day I would meet my daughter as I engrossed myself in work.

After LDS FS I walked home, had a quick lunch to hurry over to Nu Skin so I could busily sit and stare at the screen. This job has been nice because I have the freedom to stand and walk around at my leisure. Since work was scarce, I went to fill up my water, travelled to the guest bathrooms (SO nice!), and took the long route back to my desk (which may have included a lovely jaunt outside. It was a necessary detour). I was surprised to find that throughout the afternoon, my contractions had returned. Still irregular (some were about 15 minutes apart, and some were hours between) but they were strong enough that I would have to pause the work I was doing and concentrate on relaxing. Finally it was time to pick up Chris, so I carefully drove to BYU and promptly traded driver seats with him.

At home, I began having the contractions be more regular-about 15 minutes apart-while we prepared dinner. I was on my knees, leaning against the couch-a position I have found to be really comfortable for me last time I was feeling contractions in Vegas and during pregnancy in general. At one point I decided this may be real, and I needed to start my Hypnobabies scripts. I went to our room, closed the door, and relaxed as I listened to the script I was most familiar with. I've gotten much better about relaxing as I have practiced everyday. About 10 minutes into the script, I was seized upon by the strongest contraction I had felt up to that point. It completely took me by surprise, and I immediately crumpled into a fetal position and felt helpless and desperate for it to end. Once it slowly subsided, I solemnly acknowledged to myself, "soooo...that's why women get epidurals" and promptly went to Chris for comfort and support. I knew logically there wasn't much Chris could do to relieve the discomfort, but I instinctively gravitated to him nonetheless. As soon as I asked for his help, he put everything down and was at my side.

I had a few more contractions-more on the mild side compared to The Big One, and then they began being more irregular again. You would think I would be happy about this relief, but at this point I was ready to just get 'er done! I had worked through it most of the day and I wanted to move forward. Thankfully, after a walk and watching part of Spirited Away (around 9pm) they started coming more regularly. Chris turned on the scripts, but I found lying down and waiting around for a contraction to hit was almost too much on my nerves. Instead, I constantly changed positions and rooms, going from the bedroom to the bathroom, to the front doorway, restlessly trying to find a position with the most reprieve. Eventually I was out of energy, and I lied down to rest between contractions while Chris lied down beside me to help me relax when the contractions startled me out of rest. At this point, the contractions were a minute and a half apart and lasted 30-45 seconds (I didn't know this at the time, but Chris was keeping track for me).

At about 1am, Chris said we should probably head to the hospital. I slowly got up with Chris' help and started shuffling to the door. Chris started listing off the things we should probably grab before we left, but I had no idea what he said because I was already out the door and slouching my way down the stairs. He quickly grabbed some things before easily catching up with me on the way to the parking lot. At the car I lowered myself into the passenger seat while Chris apologized for not grabbing water for me. In response to his inquiry to whether he should run back to the apartment for it, all I could muster was, "Chris-drive!"

And then we were off to the hospital.

That has to be the number 1 most painful car ride, and that includes when I got whiplash on the Disneyland Indiana Jones ride. I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't change positions, and I could feel Every. Single. Bump. Thankfully, most of the lights were green. Once we stopped at a red light, and promptly told Chris to run it. Obediently, yet cautiously, Chris turned on the hazard lights and rolled into the intersection. :) the things husbands do for their laboring wives...

We got to the hospital and Chris parked right at the entrance for me. He ran around, helped me out of the car and stayed with me, despite leaving the car door open. When we got inside someone asked if I needed a wheelchair and I honestly answered, "I don't know." I think they grabbed one anyway, because when I had a contraction and held onto Chris, he slowly (and gratefully) lowered me into the chair. They wheeled me into the room and checked me-I was at 7cm! I was so glad! I had dreaded coming to the hospital and finding out after all I had been through I was only at a 3 and being sent home. I hung out on the birthing ball (so nice!) until Whitney-my cousin who is awesome and offered to be my doula-showed up (in the wee hours of the morning, bless her heart!)

From then on, mostly I remember Chris helping by breathing with me and Whitney held my hands so I would remember to keep them relaxed. I noticed it helped a lot when they would tell me which body part to relax, such as my eyebrows or my shoulders. Mostly what I remember from this time was feeling like I couldn't get enough air in, my shaking seemed to be out of control, and I just focused on getting through each contraction. I honestly don't know what I would have done without these two and their constant, tireless support!! It seemed to go on for quite awhile, which was strange, because transition shouldn't take that long... They checked me again, and even though I had been at 9 for awhile, I had a cervical lip that was preventing forward progress. So they had me try pushing as they worked on fixing the lip. Two words:ouchie waa-waa. After awhile they said my bag of water was bulging, and if I tried pushing I could probably break it and get things moving again. I was working on this when Chris' untimely bladder acted up and while in the bathroom, he completely missed the water shooting across the room. The poor guy totally missed out! :) They said things would pick up from that point on, and they saw that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, so we knew they would need to take her quickly after being born to make sure she didn't aspirate any meconium. All this I remember through a dull haze, because I was beyond the point of opening my eyes or trying to make sense of what people were saying.

Then it was time to push for reals.

Only I unexpectedly didn't feel any urge to push. At all. I had heard the urge to push is so instinctive and almost a relief to push, but that was not my experience in the slightest. I started off pushing by pulling Whitney down as I mauled her in a side hug, but apparently that wasn't super effective and they had me grab my legs and hold my breath as they counted. Awful. I felt like I had no more energy to expend, and yet she didn't feel anywhere near entering the world. I was really wondering what would happen if I refused to push any more-could they get her some other way? Please? I didn't know I could feel so worn out and defeated.

But then, she was out! And I was so...tired! I expected that moment to be instantly rejuvenated at the sight of my little girl. They laid her on my stomach and I was barely able to open my eyes from exhaustion. The doctor handed Chris the scissors and he cut the cord, then they whisked her away to make sure she was alright.

I thought that would be the end of the pain. But I was yet again surprised. The shot of pitocin in the leg, the numbing shots for the stitches (3 first degree tears) and massaging the stomach... Wow. I'm amazed at my body's ability to endure pain. At this point all I wanted was to see my little girl. Chris was holding her, and he brought her close to the bed so I could see her. I finally looked over at my little girl, and instantly I noticed her chubby cheeks, her attentive eyes, her overactive tongue and her expressive little face. And I loved that cute little girl.

I knew an unmedicated labor would not be easy. It definitely tested me to my limits. And beyond. And I'll admit-several times throughout the experience, adoption sounded like the best idea anyone had ever thought of before. I promised myself I would never voluntarily put myself through such an ordeal again-pregnancy and labor are for masochists.

This is a video of Riley doing what she does best-sucking. She was voraciously hungry from the get go. And nothing has changed :)

It was amazing to go through all this insanity, and then see my little daughter and instantly come to the conclusion: It was all worth it.

"...I only said it would be worth it."

Our Week of Distractions

We are on the one week countdown to Riley’s due date! Luckily, this week is going to be hopping with activities due to the Week of Activities for the singles ward and the Timpanogoes Storytelling Festival. Every night after work we have at least one activity vying for our attention, so at least we won’t be sitting at home just waiting for Riley to make her appearance. And then if she does come early, we won’t complain at all ;)

This is a picture from one of our walks. I love going on walks, but I have to stop fairly often to stretch out my hips. This is on the lawn of a church nearby where Chris was helping me stretch.

Monday, Aug 31: Home Evening

Tuesday, Sept 1: Institute

Wednesday, Sept 2: Carnival and/or Riverwoods concert

Thursday, Sept 3: CS pizza get together/Storytelling Festival

Friday, Sept 4: Ropes Course and canoeing @ Utah Lake

Saturday, Sept 5: All day at Storytelling Festival and Mahrt Fam comes!

Sunday, Sept 6: Elizabeth’s baby blessing

Monday, Sept 7: Labor Day (in more ways than one…? ;) )

Tuesday, Sept 8: RILEY’S DUE DATE!